The name Ivan Horsley first popped up some 30+ years ago. He had made a phone call to my sister, Lai Han, and they had arranged to meet at the old Raffles Hotel. Lai Han invited me to accompany her to meet Ivan and his wife, Jean, as this was the first time we met overseas friends.

First impression: A well-dressed, charming  gentleman with a gorgeous, cheerful wife! However my first mistake was addressing him as Mr Ivan – a mistake he would still bring up and tease me about over the years.

The Far East (Singapore and Malaysia), as he often mentioned, are 2 countries which brought him fond memories of his RAF days. After his retirement, he visited us several times before we made the trip to their home in Newcastle. They showered us with great hospitality which we appreciated very much. We were always pampered with good homecooked food and snacks that they packed for us when we were on the go! Our short trips together to Scotland were such fun times. 

Ivan was a man full of humour and wit, though soft-spoken! He told us many stories of how he courted Jean and won her over, and regaled us with tales of the Far East and his courtship days. I learned that he was a very sentimental person. The Ruby, Golden and Diamond Wedding Anniversaries spoke for themselves. And the renewal of their wedding vows again in Singapore before their Golden Anniversary was so touching,  though it was attended by Singaporean friends only.

He was also full of patience and perseverance, and indeed these qualities brought us together. He had patiently combed through the entire phone directory to find my sister’s contact number, so that he could pass her a gift from Fiona (my sister’s pen pal). Ivan was Fiona’s father’s ex-colleague, and despite this distant chain of connection, had agreed to act as her courier. And that is the story of how I got to know Ivan and Jean.

When my friends Lyn and Heng flew over to Newcastle to study, Ivan and Jean went to the airport to receive them without my knowledge. I had given their contact details  to my friends in case they needed help when they were there, and had revealed their flight details when asked. As the flight was full of return students and new students, Ivan went up to each one and asked them whether they were Lai Fun’s friends. Lyn and Heng were the last few who came out!

When we went on our shopping excursions, he would patiently wait for us to have a cup of tea without a word of complaint.  He would say that he managed to get his 40 winks.

As a great planner who was very detail-oriented, he would meticulously suggest, plan and explain the route we should take during our Scotland road trips.  In those days, GPS was not available then. He was a person who willingly went the extra mile to help, not only to us but to all the visitors and friends he met.

I treasure the many wonderful times we had together, be it in Singapore or in the UK. Such fond memories will always remain in my mind.  When I recall all these events, I can’t help but feel the sadness of losing such a wonderful and dear friend!

Memories of Ivan will be cherished, and his presence will be deeply missed forever.

My love to Jean, Margo, and family, with my deepest condolences. May God’s peace and comfort be with you all!